DISCIPLINE = FREEDOM
Today was my 33rd private Muay Thai session. It’s my latest non-negotiable. Three times a week, I’m there. Whether I feel like it or not.
Willpower and self-discipline DO NOT come easy to me, I have an open will center in Human Design, and I hate anything that feels constrictive in any way. That includes things like consistency, commitment, and especially discipline. I have rebelled against those things all of my life. Even when it’s ME, that’s trying to get ME to do things.
The change started with journaling and mindset work. When we lost our business and all of our money along with it, I was at the lowest point of my life. Because things just kept getting worse, I was willing to do ANYTHING to change my trajectory.
I had been sporadically journaling for a few years.
I KNOW, I KNOW…YOU ARE SHOCKED THAT LEAH, THE QUEEN OF JOURNALING, THE 5 JOURNAL MANDATORY MINIMUM ENFORCER, IS NOT A LIFELONG JOURNALER!
Truth be told, I fucking hated it and thought it was a waste of time. People journaled their FEELINGS, and I didn’t want to FEEL them, much less write about them! I’m still working through this part, LOL!
But I’m a fucking master manifestor and always have been (both good things and bad), and I had begun to notice that even my sporadic journaling was yielding great results. AND because I was willing to do ANYTHING at that point, I committed to daily journaling along with a year of non-stop mindset work…I never looked back.
I’m still journaling daily.
It was the first time that I created a discipline for myself that I didn’t resent and that I actually followed through with.
And it was one of the most meaningful gifts I have given myself because through keeping that commitment to myself, I realized that for me (and for most of my clients) discipline actually creates freedom.
Here’s a secret…me writing this blog right now is actually me putting into practice my NEW commitment to myself, creating my new discipline, daily writing. I almost fucked it off today, but then I remembered. DISCIPLINE = FREEDOM. So even after working since 8:30 am this morning (it’s 7 pm now), and even though I have another program call from 8-10 pm tonight and could easily make excuses why I should be taking this break to rest, I AM WRITING. And holy shit does it feel good!
Keeping my commitments to myself means I am in integrity with the most important person…ME. I’ve come to realize that NOTHING feels better than that. Being proud of MYSELF is so much more rewarding than anyone else being proud of me.
Now back to Muay Thai. It was my 33rd private session today, as I said. Hitting things is good for me. I’m not a rage expresser, hell, I’m not really one to express emotion. It’s something I need to actively work at…and I do. SO three times a week I get to go unleash all of my pent up frustration, anger, rage and anything else I have been repressing…FOR LIFETIMES.
When I started, I SUCKED. I was easily fatigued. I was going 5 minute and ½ rounds with equal time rest. A few months later…with discipline and consistency, I am going 3 min rounds with 1 minute of rest that I am doing sit-ups at the start of. I’m kicking ass. I’m landing solid punches, and my kicks have massive power. Trust me…you don’t want to get hit by my spin punch!
Today something happened. The first four rounds, I went HARD. At a faster pace, more power and better technique than ever before. This has been the norm for about two weeks, I’m hitting that curve of massive improvement in each session because I have put in the work. But here is how today was different. Round six and seven, I slowed down. I was tired and fatigued. By the end of seven, I could barely hold my arms up. During the break (after my sit-ups) a voice in my head asked a question:
“What if you just decided in this minute to switch off the pain and fatigue?”
My immediate ego response was “that’s insane, I can’t possibly do that, I’ve trained harder today than I ever have.”
It was right then that for the first time in a physical exertion scenario or workout that I identified the bullshit excuses I have been feeding myself…maybe my whole life.
That I can’t push through the pain because I am weaker than those that do. That I don’t have the willpower to stay in the physical pain. That I will never shape the body that I desire because I am not strong enough to make the sacrifices required.
And then I was like FUCK THAT SHIT!
I’m the person that creates whatever reality I chose. And that’s it. Because I decide to.
And so, I DECIDED. I decided in that moment to dig deep and access my raw, primal instincts. I called on all of my energy. And when the timer went off, I told my trainer to keep it coming FAST. I told him not to let up on me at all, to go faster and demand more of me then he had the entire session. He looked at me like I had lost my mind…and then complied.
AND I KICKED ASS.
I dug deep, shut down my ego mind, and called on sheer determination.
I cannot even describe to you the feeling when the timer went off. It was one of the best feelings I have ever felt in my life. My trainer was stunned, and before I collapsed on the floor, I did a little celebratory booty shake!
How did I get there?
But most importantly, the two things I am always preaching about.
BELIEF AND INTENTION.
I am unstoppable at anything I put my mind to.
I can achieve anything I desire.
Because I am powerful and magicalAF.
So are you.
So can you.
I will no longer allow my ego mind to stop me from achieving my destiny.
And every single time it tries to, I will shut it the fuck down and PROVE I can.
And that’s it.
I am here to have a massive impact on this planet.
I am the changemaker activator.
I own my role, I own my REIGN.
Now is my time.
And it can be yours.
Know this…the stories you are telling yourself about why you can’t do it now, why you need to wait for this thing to be in perfect alignment or that thing to be in perfect alignment… are just that…stories. They have power because you give them power. They aren’t real, and they aren’t true. The only thing holding you back right now…is YOU. The time is NOW.
YOUR TIME IS NOW.