One of the first things that happened when I went through The Spiral is I began letting up on my high expectations of myself.
When I was having these high expectations of myself, it was not about whether or not I was giving 100%.
It was about: am I being perceived as being perfect? Are people looking at me going and thinking, “she is the best mom/friend/wife ever”? It is all fucking perceptions.
And it is all fucking bullshit.
Because the truth is your perception of what makes perfect mom is not the same as mine. None of our expectations and perceptions are the same. They are all unique to us.
When I let myself off the hook, stopped trying to be perfect, and stopped giving a fuck what other people thought about me, I started to find happiness for the first time in a really long time.
I am also a 5/1 profile type in Human Design. By my design, I am expected to be all things to all people. Their shit just gets projected onto me all the time. As a result of that, people have a lot of expectations of me.
That used to be very difficult for me because I was trying to fulfill others’ expectations of me and keep up with perfection. I was usually doing that at the expense of what was good for my family, me, and my soul.
I was living in Miseryville.
When I stopped giving a fuck what people thought of me, I also stopped giving a fuck about what other people’s expectations were of me. I am here and willing to hold the mirror all the time. As a 5/1 Projector, it is my role to hold the mirror and to help you shine light into the places you cannot see yet.
Just because I am willing to be the mirror does not mean I am willing to take on your expectations of me.
How would your life change if you stopped giving a fuck about other people’s expectations?