If you have pedestaled me, I am going to fall off quite quickly. One of the outcomes of The Spiral for me was the complete ownership of me, my feelings, and how I am showing up in the world.
That means unbridled self-responsibility and self-accountability.
I do have some expectations of people who have entered into a contractual agreement with me: that you will take full responsibility and accountability for yourself, and I will do the same for myself.
In this world we live in, people do not want to be accountable for their own thoughts, feelings, deeds, actions. They want to project all their shit onto you, and they want you to be responsible for it. They want you to apologize, to feel sorry.
Freedom comes in the release of expectations. Nobody wants to fucking live in Miseryville. Miseryville is a fucking horrible place to live. I do not fucking live there. I do not even visit there. If I ever have to drive through there, I go as fast as possible because that place is horrible.
If you have an expectation of how I was going to behave in our professional relationship or friendship and feel I have let you down in some way, I am going to listen.
AND I am going to put on my observation hat, grab my mirror, and hold it steady.
What I will not do is take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions, or your expectations of me.
Because they are not mine.
It does not serve you for me to take responsibility for your expectations and your projections. But I am always going to respond. I am always going to talk to you about it AND I will tell you that I am not going to take responsibility for your projections or your expectations.
That is how we grow.
What would it be like for you to be fully self-accountable and self-responsible?